Random thoughts i had. First of all, a shout out to my dearest twin, Sim Wei Long. Happy belated birthday! I have called him on the dot though - 21 July. Haha! And now, 22 July is Mclintyre's birthday. Lol!

I have never tortured myself this harsh before. Having things to myself and not able to let it all out. Keeping mum is really a hard thing to do. Or maybe i should put it this way. I just don't know how to put it in words. Like, i became so not straight forward. Though i am straight forward, like always. I really want to burst my tears out and cry everything out. Because this way, i can feel better. But i'm afraid of letting people know my weaknesses. Now you see i really care more for my friends than loving myself. :(

When Cheun Cheun was feeling very frustrated and guilty, i tried my best to cheer him up. But somehow i ended up feeling vexed because i felt as though i have failed as a friend. But seeing him walking out of the room and looked for me when i walked out, i felt better because everything i have had done, was worth it. See, little things like that could actually cheered me up. He eventually told me what was going through his head and all that he has had bottled up.

Now that he is feeling better, i am still very worried about him. Although he is big brother to me, it felt as though he is a small kid to me. Hope everything is okay over his side.

For once, i really felt hopeless about myself. To think i always do things extra for people i care the most, or some mutual friends. And so what if i came clean with others? I don't think i would ever want to make it clear. It's just for me to rant out everything in a discreet way. Enough said. I think i want to have some rest now? Yeah, somehow.