"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars? I can really use a wish right now." I have so many things to rant out. Listen, will you?

I am so sick of waiting for some people but they didn't show up. Like, i ain't here to please you, nor let you make a fool out of myself. I know you think that the truth is going to hit me badly, but at least i know what's going on. So, it's actually okay for you to tell me the truth. I am so sick and tired of your stupidity doings, period.

Suddenly, i felt so scared. The fear is constantly growing and i am really terrified of it. The fear of having to lose the people you cared for. I never had a crush like this. It has got me sinking deeper and i am really afraid of losing him. Losing as in not able to see him anymore. I know he doesn't care about me. I'm pretty used to it. People just want to see the bubbly side of me, and very often ignore the emotional side of me, literally. I am so afraid of becoming a different person after Monday. The sudden lost of courage and confidence made me so afraid of going to the Airport. I might lose the whole self-confidence thing if I'd make it to the Airport.

As for my dearest Sister who lived at my block, i think it is pretty obvious that your boyfriend doesn't like you hanging out with me. So, i think it would be best that we meet up less often. Or even not at all. Because to me, if a guy couldn't accept that his girl has a "Sister" like me, then it would be as though giving hell to everybody. Why as though giving hell? It is because neither one of us are going to be happy. That guy even questions about us talking in the middle of the night. I mean, it was meant to be a "Sister talk", then why are you making a big fuss about it? And when it has ended, i would laugh and mock to myself. But still, thanks for everything. Nice knowing you though. :D

I wish, that my father would go to hell now and suffers in eternity. He's not even fit to be my father. Useless, old and lazy asshole. I think people should love their fathers as much as I have hated my father. All he does is stick his mouth with a cigarette and smokes the whole day. I know, I'm so embarrassed to let my friends know I have such a father.

And now, i truly understand the meaning of life. In life, you cannot afford to make some mistakes. One big mistake is that taking more than you are expected to have or take. Say, i have mentioned previously that claiming to have sacrificed for our family doesn't mean you don't owe us in a way or another. Look what happens to you now? Your son has to pay the price. God's will, that is. I suppose. Well well, are you going to repent for your sins? To be frank, I do pity your son. Because this has nothing to do with him. But come to think of it, blame it on your greed.

I think I am turning holy nowadays. I'd listen to the song "Shout To The Lord" whenever I am siting all alone. That song actually taught me to praise the Lord whenever I'm feeling down. I have faith in the Lord, and I'm pretty sure that my Lord will guide me along the way through numerous and countless obstacles. Thank you Lord, for blessing me. Thank you Lord, for everything. Even though at times I don't believe in myself, You have shown me the way. :D

Now that I have let everything out of my chest, I definitely feel hell lot better. And I am going to wake up every morning and put a smile on my face. Throw my hands up and say "Thank You Lord" for a brand new day. Because I am still breathing and going on strong. :D ^^ Most importantly, I must thank Pauline Lee for making me so holy. I will go church with her one fine day. <3